The Right Reaction to Rejection

Everyone has faced some sort of rejection at some point in their lives. While this is a universal truth, some people are more vulnerable to the sting of rejection than others. 

While on the surface level rejection may appear to be the feeling you get when someone does not reciprocate your affection, it is actually an oppressive spirit that manifests itself through loneliness, bitterness and distrust.

Jesus and Rejection

No one knew rejection like Jesus. The prophet Isaiah said the son of God was a man rejected by many and well acquainted with suffering.  After all, this was the same guy that went around healing others, but was beaten, spat on and made to carry a cross by the very people He performed miracles for.

What did Christ do when the people chose a revolutionary over Him and condemned Him to death? He accepted His fate and was led like a sheep to slaughter.

Amazingly, even though they abused Him, nailed His hands and feet to a rugged cross and pierced His side, in one of His last breaths, Jesus asked His heavenly Father to forgive His accusers.

Forgivness as a Remedy for Rejection

Most of us will never experience the type of agony Christ endured on the cross to be the atoning sacrifice for the world’s sins. That fact alone should encourage us to be willing to forgive those who rejected us.

Whether you believe it or not, unforgiveness hurts you more than it affects the offending party. The Bible plainly states if we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us.

Take the parable of the unmerciful servant for example. After he had begged for leniency, the king was merciful and forgave his large debt.

But that same man turned around and seized a fellow servant and commanded the servant to pay back all he owed. Instead of extending the same measure of grace to his fellow man, he had his debtor thrown into prison until he could pay back every last cent.

“When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything.

Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’  

In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

–Matthew 18: 31-35 NIV

Being overlooked, denied and rejected hurts. But no matter what has been done to us, we are expected to forgive the person who hurt us. If we’re not willing to, God Himself will turn us over to the tormentors. The spirit of rejection is a tormentor, and it is a device often used by Satan to destroy us from the inside out.

Forgiveness: The Right Way to React to Rejection

It may sound harsh in theory, but God wants us to be willing to forgive others because He understands what harboring hurt and offense can do to us. 

Not only that, the Lord was also there when His son was brutally murdered by the people He chose to form a covenant with. He listened and watched as God the Son asked Him not to hold their treacherous actions against them.

The Lord knows if Jesus –in his human state– could forgive people who rejected, tortured and mutilated Him for no reason, we in our human capacity, can also do the same for those who have wronged us.

I know you’re probably thinking: You don’t understand what they have done to me, they don’t deserve to be forgiven for all the hurt they’ve caused me, for all the rejection I've experienced because of them...

And guess what? You may be right. If you’re having reservations at the thought of forgiving someone who has rejected, abused, betrayed or abandoned you in the past, those feelings are completely normal. Forgiving is definitely easier said than done, but can I let you in on a little secret? Forgiving frees you more than it lets your offender off the hook. This is because refusing to do so is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. The choice is yours.