Blog

woman sitting on black chair in front of glass-panel window with white curtains

<blockquote>For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6</blockquote>When a person lacks relationships with other people, they tend to rely on their inner thoughts for assurance, affirmation and guidance. While this inner voice, which is also known as our conscience, can serve as a helpful tool to convict us when we do wrong, when we have no other voices of reason to rely on, it can also drive us to make impulsive decisions. Human beings were built for relationships. In fact, after God created Adam he stated that it was not good for man to be alone and made him a suitable partner to share his duties with. &nbsp;(Genesis 2:18). Evidently, when a person struggles to relate to others, they stop reaching out to other people, and instead withdraw within themselves. This is how the obsession with ‘me, myself, and I’ is born.<figure id="figure-gnl2iz3j5nm16qpfh6"><img id="gnl2iz3j5nm16qpfh6" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1589878722702-ef9b0839649d?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw0fHx2YW5pdHl8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI2NTk2MDU2fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="a couple of women standing next to each other" title="a couple of women standing next to each other" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1589878722702-ef9b0839649d?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw0fHx2YW5pdHl8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI2NTk2MDU2fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Now some people may argue that they cannot be obsessed with themselves since they do not conflate their self-worth or tend to walk around with a big head so to speak. But that’s just it; the fixation of self does not necessarily have to take on the form of arrogance or pride. On the contrary, a person can become obsessed with themselves by harboring self-deprecating thoughts that highlight their weaknesses. And just like an individual who is obnoxiously full of themselves can construct a world that revolves around how “amazing” they are, someone with low self-esteem can create a reality where they are the worst person to have ever walked the earth. &nbsp;Both ends of the spectrum are equally as dangerous since preoccupation with self leads to selfishness, self-pity and self-hate. It is important to note that all of the aforementioned clauses begin with the same four letters.What does God say about Self-Centeredness?<blockquote>&nbsp;Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2‬:‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬</blockquote>Making everything about what you think and how you feel is the quickest way to sabotage relationships. This is because selfishness and self-centered thinking is the primary cause of conflicts, disagreements and dissension. James 4:1 says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (NIV). Every trouble starts because of our self-centeredness.” If you haven’t figured it out by now, the world does not revolve around you. But you shouldn’t feel too bad because the universe does not revolve around me either.<figure id="figure-bj3kohv3eom16qn27o"><img id="bj3kohv3eom16qn27o" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1506371968674-19d5341b46cd?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxMXx8Y3Jvc3N8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI2NTk1OTQ1fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="silhouette of cross under blue sky" title="silhouette of cross under blue sky" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1506371968674-19d5341b46cd?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxMXx8Y3Jvc3N8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI2NTk1OTQ1fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Scripture is very explicit about emphasizing the importance of selflessness and the greatest example it gives us revolves around Christ Himself. In truth, Jesus loved us so much that He laid down his life for each and every one of us (1 John 3:16). But there’s more to the verse, because the man of God said because Christ loved us so much to sacrifice His own life so that we could be saved, we should also be willing to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. Obviously, a person cannot if they are only thinking about themselves.<figure id="figure-30d54txnsem16qo7gb"><img id="30d54txnsem16qo7gb" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1536197531100-50b27f49a08c?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxNXx8bWlycm9yfGVufDB8fHx8MTcyNjU5NTk5OXww&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="standing woman surrounded by yellow flower field during daytime" title="standing woman surrounded by yellow flower field during daytime" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1536197531100-50b27f49a08c?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxNXx8bWlycm9yfGVufDB8fHx8MTcyNjU5NTk5OXww&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>My friends, there is nothing wrong about having a desire to work on our weak spots. But as we try to improve these areas, it is important to keep in mind that the answer to our insecurities cannot be found in our physical appearance, job title or bank account. In fact, the solution to our self-image problems –that are virtually triggered by our desire to be approved and accepted by others– cannot only be found through selflessness. Truly, when we think about ourselves less and make an effort to focus on God’s word more, He will give us the drive, wisdom and self-discipline we need to bring about lasting change in our lives.

The Obsession with Me, Myself and I

<figure id="figure-3gqz8538iqm16q9xo7" class=""><img id="3gqz8538iqm16q9xo7" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1516481265257-97e5f4bc50d5?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHx0cmFpbmluZ3xlbnwwfHx8fDE3MjY1OTUzNzN8MA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="person locking gym plates on barbell" title="person locking gym plates on barbell" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1516481265257-97e5f4bc50d5?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHx0cmFpbmluZ3xlbnwwfHx8fDE3MjY1OTUzNzN8MA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>God calls us to be balanced individuals. Now if legalism and outright procrastination lie on opposite ends of the spectrum, discipline is the mediating factor smack dab in the middle that keeps us stabilized and steady. Don’t get me wrong, we shouldn’t impose stringent laws that are impractical or virtually unattainable on ourselves or other people, but establishing goals is not inherently negative. In fact, goals are healthy and they help give us the motivation we need the extra encouragement to push through and stay on course.Discipline in this context is defined as the determination to achieve a certain outcome. In that light, a person who exercises discipline is willing to sacrifice short term pleasure for long term gain. To do this, they create a set of objectives and focus on their desired goal to avoid getting distracted or discouraged along the way. <figure id="figure-likmpe02im16q6hs1" class=""><img id="likmpe02im16q6hs1" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1461896836934-ffe607ba8211?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyMHx8cnVubmVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTcyNjU5NTE3OHww&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="man on running field" title="man on running field" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1461896836934-ffe607ba8211?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyMHx8cnVubmVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTcyNjU5NTE3OHww&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Let's take an athlete for instance, the apostle Paul said runners discipline their bodies to win a prize. Usain Bolt, who is unarguably one of the fastest men to have ever walked on the planet, did not become a multi-Olympic medal champion overnight. On the contrary, he had to practice daily for hours on end and adhere to a rigorous diet and workout plan to get where he is today. Now while our personal aspirations may not require that type of discipline, chances are our purposes and aspirations will require some form of sacrifice.Discipline is usually utilized and developed during the preparation stage. This means that the end results aren't always visible and the practice session obviously aren’t always enjoyable. God understands this, that's why the Bible states that no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it (Hebrew 12:11 NIV).&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<figure id="figure-ehdd126n9jm16q8l0d"><img id="ehdd126n9jm16q8l0d" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1514820720301-4c4790309f46?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxwcml6ZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE3MjY1OTUyODd8MA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="several silver and gold trophies on wooden surface" title="several silver and gold trophies on wooden surface" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1514820720301-4c4790309f46?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxfHxwcml6ZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE3MjY1OTUyODd8MA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Now if you are anything like me, at first glance you may have interpreted the word discipline to refer to the use of a punishment to correct disobedience. Nevertheless, while correction is a part of discipline, the main components of virtue are characterized by practice and training.Obviously, determination, drive, discipline and grit are needed to accomplish any objectives. In Philippians, the apostle Paul tells us we should “press on to reach the end of the race to receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”While we should avoid bogging ourselves down with rules we cannot keep, we should safeguard against frustration and discouragement by pressing on and trusting God to take us through.

The Difference between Discipline and Legalism

person in black long sleeve shirt holding white ceramic mug

<figure id="figure-olj4i2lmkpm16ppwd8" class=""><img id="olj4i2lmkpm16ppwd8" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1493836512294-502baa1986e2?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxNHx8Q291bnNlbGxpbmd8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzA3MjU3ODg3fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="a man holds his head while sitting on a sofa" title="a man holds his head while sitting on a sofa" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1493836512294-502baa1986e2?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxNHx8Q291bnNlbGxpbmd8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzA3MjU3ODg3fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Loneliness is a state of mind that is bolstered in perception, but the way we perceive things does not necessarily align with our realties. So what remedy does God propose to address a widespread human emotion that is both multifaceted and exclusive to each individual? His Word. Yes, loneliness may feel like a dark gloomy cloud that follows you everywhere, but &nbsp;King David &nbsp;states in Psalms 23:4: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” The Father is always with us and the best part is He will never jump ship or abandon us. In fact, the Lord our God goes before us when we are not sure where we are going. He stands behind us to guard and defend us from unseen attacks. And most importantly, when we confess our sins and surrender to his will, He dwells inside us. There is evidence littered throughout the scripture that shows us that God cares when we are consumed by feelings of loneliness. So let’s look at the story of Elijah for a moment:<blockquote>Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went on a day's journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. I have had enough, Lord, he said. Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.&nbsp; Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.1 Kings 19:1-5 NIV&nbsp;</blockquote>Now before Elijah ran away and asked God to take his life, he had just demonstrated God’s miraculous sovereignty over all the deities and false idols that had captured the attention of Israel. You see, in the previous chapters Elijah had asked God to stop the rain and dew in the land until he commanded. And after the nation went without water for a few years, the vegetation was ruined and the whole country became devastated and desolate. Things got so bad that the ruler at that time, King Ahab, went out looking for grass to feed the livestock so that they would not starve. He also instructed one of his servants, Obadiah, to look with him. When Obadiah went out he saw Elijah and bowed before him. The prophet then told him that he would go and see Ahab.When Elijah met with King Ahab, he told the king to gather all of the Israelites to Mount Carmel including all of the prophets of Baal and the prophets of Asherah. When they congregated, Elijah told them to make a decision to follow the Lord their God or worship the pagan idol Baal. &nbsp;When the people did not respond Elijah took twelve stones –which represented each of the tribes of Israel- and rebuilt the Lord’s altar. Elijah then set up the wood and cut a bull into pieces which he placed on the wood. After this, he told the people to pour water on the wood and offering, then asked God to answer him so the people would know that the Lord was the true God of Israel.God then rained down fire from heaven which consumed the wood and sacrifice. All of the Israelites who witnessed the miraculous event then cried out that the Lord was their God. &nbsp;As a result, Elijah told them to seize the Baal prophets who were later killed. He then went to the top of Mount Carmel and told his servant to look at the sea. After he had done so seven times, he saw a cloud. Sometime after, the sky turned dark and it began to rain.So what did Elijah do after God performed such a miraculous act through him? He let Jezebel’s vile death threats intimidate him in a way which triggered him to run for his life. And after he had fled and made his bed under a broom tree, God sent an angel to feed him. When he had slept and eaten and drank two times, he traveled forty days and nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. &nbsp;There he went into a cave and spent the night (1 Kings 19:7-9).<blockquote>And the word of the Lord came to him: What are you doing here, Elijah?He replied, I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.1 Kings 19:10</blockquote>It is important to note that loneliness can strike a person right after they have reached a great milestone or have even accomplished a great feat.&nbsp; Still, while experiencing these feelings from time to time is inevitable and very much a part of life, we should not allow them to consume us or keep us trapped in a cycle of fear and dread.In the scripture when God asked Elijah why he had hid himself in the cave, he told Him he was afraid for his life because he was the only one left. In other words, Elijah felt lonely and this sense of solitude was triggered by fear.&nbsp;Notice, the first thing God asks Elijah when he speaks is: “What are you doing here?” Obviously a sovereign God who is all-knowing and omnipresent already knew the answer, but he posed the question because it was His way of getting Elijah to evaluate his situation and his heart. Then the Lord said:<blockquote>&nbsp;Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, What are you doing here, Elijah?He replied, I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.1 Kings 19:11-15&nbsp;</blockquote>When God visited Elijah, He spoke to the prophet in a gentle whisper. Sometimes we are tempted to look for big signs or supernatural happenings to confirm our encounters with the Lord. But while He is capable of doing things beyond human reasoning and defying the laws of science, most times when God speaks to us it is in a still quiet voice. And when he speaks to us, he always puts things back into the right perspective.In the passage God questions Elijah a second time and the prophet repeats his answer. But this time, the Lord gave him instructions and informed him that he had also reserved 7,000 Israelites who had not bowed down or worshiped Baal. You see, Elijah thought that he was alone. His limited scope of the situation made him believe that he was the only one left. But God saw the bigger picture and He comforted Elijah by letting him know he was not the only one left.<figure id="figure-lxuq5k7dmm16pwrmg"><img id="lxuq5k7dmm16pwrmg" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1484973768669-7fb6b5451095?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw3N3x8Q291bnNlbGxpbmd8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzA3MjU3OTc3fDA&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=1080" alt="man and woman sitting on sofa in a room" title="man and woman sitting on sofa in a room" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>Friends, whenever you are feeling lonely remember that the experience is not a permanent state of being. In fact, just like Elijah, chances are your perception of your situation may not be completely accurate since loneliness has a way of distorting your reality by fogging your minds with feelings of gloom that are triggered by isolation or &nbsp;solitude. So instead of making impulsive decisions that may harm you in the long run, take the time out to rest, eat the proper nutrition and find a quiet place where God can meet you and speak to you in His still, quiet voice. And when you dwell in His presence, He will renew your mind and strengthen your body so that you can see and understand the bigger picture. And here’s the catch –God always wins.

Never Alone: God's Answer to Loneliness

religious concert performed by a band on stage

Everyone has faced some sort of rejection at some point in their lives. While this is a universal truth, some people are more vulnerable to the sting of rejection than others.&nbsp;While on the surface level rejection may appear to be the feeling you get when someone does not reciprocate your affection, it is actually an oppressive spirit that manifests itself through loneliness, bitterness and distrust.<figure id="figure-0ljzu3vl9lt8wivlr" class=""><img id="0ljzu3vl9lt8wivlr" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1522120691812-dcdfb625f397?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyfHxzdHJlbmd0aCUyMGhlYWxpbmd8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzA5MzEyNDkxfDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="strength healing" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1522120691812-dcdfb625f397?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyfHxzdHJlbmd0aCUyMGhlYWxpbmd8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzA5MzEyNDkxfDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Jesus and Rejection</h2>No one knew rejection like Jesus. The prophet Isaiah said the son of God was a man rejected by many and well acquainted with suffering. &nbsp;After all, this was the same guy that went around healing others, but was beaten, spat on and made to carry a cross by the very people He performed miracles for.What did Christ do when the people chose a revolutionary over Him and condemned Him to death? He accepted His fate and was led like a sheep to slaughter.Amazingly, even though they abused Him, nailed His hands and feet to a rugged cross and pierced His side, in one of His last breaths, Jesus asked His heavenly Father to forgive His accusers.<h3>Forgivness as a Remedy for Rejection</h3>Most of us will never experience the type of agony Christ endured on the cross to be the atoning sacrifice for the world’s sins. That fact alone should encourage us to be willing to forgive those who rejected us.Whether you believe it or not, unforgiveness hurts you more than it affects the offending party. The Bible plainly states if we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us.Take the parable of the unmerciful servant for example. After he had begged for leniency, the king was merciful and forgave his large debt.But that same man turned around and seized a fellow servant and commanded the servant to pay back all he owed. Instead of extending the same measure of grace to his fellow man, he had his debtor thrown into prison until he could pay back every last cent.<blockquote>“When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything. Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ &nbsp;In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”–Matthew 18: 31-35 NIV</blockquote><figure id="figure-p5on1zm1slt8wixqp"><img id="p5on1zm1slt8wixqp" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1529988885170-6dc8ce34ce6d?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw5fHxmYWl0aCUyMGhlYWxpbmd8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzA5MzEyNDk0fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="faith healing" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1529988885170-6dc8ce34ce6d?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw5fHxmYWl0aCUyMGhlYWxpbmd8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzA5MzEyNDk0fDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure>Being overlooked, denied and rejected hurts. But no matter what has been done to us, we are expected to forgive the person who hurt us. If we’re not willing to, God Himself will turn us over to the tormentors. The spirit of rejection is a tormentor, and it is a device often used by Satan to destroy us from the inside out.<h2>Forgiveness: The Right Way to React to Rejection</h2>It may sound harsh in theory, but God wants us to be willing to forgive others because He understands what harboring hurt and offense can do to us.&nbsp;Not only that, the Lord was also there when His son was brutally murdered by the people He chose to form a covenant with. He listened and watched as God the Son asked Him not to hold their treacherous actions against them.The Lord knows if Jesus –in his human state– could forgive people who rejected, tortured and mutilated Him for no reason, we in our human capacity, can also do the same for those who have wronged us.I know you’re probably thinking: You don’t understand what they have done to me, they don’t deserve to be forgiven for all the hurt they’ve caused me, for all the rejection I've experienced because of them...And guess what? You may be right. If you’re having reservations at the thought of forgiving someone who has rejected, abused, betrayed or abandoned you in the past, those feelings are completely normal. Forgiving is definitely easier said than done, but can I let you in on a little secret? Forgiving frees you more than it lets your offender off the hook. This is because refusing to do so is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. The choice is yours.

The Right Reaction to Rejection

The Bible is a book that details the lives of countless men and women who persevered through the most desperate, daunting and depressing situations until they received the promises of God.One such account is evident in the life of Joseph, the youngest son of Jacob whose life was used to save an entire nation. Joseph’s story goes way beyond a tale of jealous brothers or a colored coat. It serves as an ideal illustration of the importance of not giving up.If we only understood that challenges are meant to build and not break us, we would be much more willing to persevere through tough times like Joseph.<h3>Who was Joseph?</h3>The wise leader was one of Jacob’s 12 sons, and because his mother gave birth to him during his father’s old age, Joseph became his favorite. This made his older brothers envy him, a fact that was made worse when Joseph shared his dreams with them, revealing &nbsp;he would eventually be their ruler.If you’re not familiar with the popular tale, the jealousy of Joseph’s brothers drove them to put him in a pit and conspire to kill him.However, after some consideration, they decided to sell him into slavery and make it appear as if he had been mauled to death by a wild animal. Joseph was then taken to Egypt where he eventually became a steward to one of Pharaoh’s guards called Potiphar.<h3>The trials of Joseph</h3>Genesis chapter 39 tells us the Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master. Still, though things appeared to be looking up for Joseph, he was faced with another obstacle when he was put in prison after being falsely accused of rape.Although she persistently pressured him, Joseph persevered in the midst of temptation and ignored her advances.Here’s the shocking part, even though he refused to betray his master or sin against God, Potiphar’s wife leveled false accusations against him which eventually landed him in prison. Imagine, Joseph did the right thing by refraining to partake in adultery, but his noble conviction got him demoted.&nbsp;It would be reasonable to believe Joseph was traumatized having been separated from his family. Not to mention, he was probably reeling from being taken to a foreign land to be used as forced labor.The thing that really stands out, is the fact that every time Joseph got a slight glimmer of hope, it was quickly buried by another bout of crushing disappointment.<h3>Joseph's response to constant difficulty</h3>Still, Joseph kept going and even in a dungeon he found himself gaining favor with the jailer’s guard and being placed in charge of the rest of the prisoners. In jail, he met Pharaoh’s butler and baker and later interpreted their dreams. Although he asked the men to remember him when their dreams came to pass, he was still forgotten.&nbsp;Amazingly, Joseph, who found himself in these undesirable situations through no fault of his own, did not give up or allow bitterness to consume him. Instead, he strengthened himself in the Lord and kept going. Two years later, he interpreted a dream for Pharaoh which led to his appointment as the second highest official in all of Egypt. This job not only gave him double for his trouble, but also reunited him with his family and allowed him to save them from famine.<h2>Importance of Persevering</h2>God placed a desire to lead in Joseph’s heart from a very young age, but his vivid visions would not come to pass until years later after he was tried and tested. This was done to produce the character and skillset Joseph needed to thrive in his calling.As prime minister of Egypt, Joseph’s main task was to ration the grain in the land to ensure the country was not devastated by famine. The years he spent working as a slave in the field for Potiphar increased his knowledge in agriculture.Not to mention, the positions he held in Potiphar’s household, and even in the depths of a dungeon, also trained him to be a responsible leader who was not easily swayed by temptation.The incessant misfortunes he was forced to endure also gave him an unwavering compassion for the overlooked, less fortunate and enslaved. But none of this would have been achieved if Joseph had not persevered.<h2>The Takeaway</h2>God doesn’t cause evil, but He does take the things the enemy uses to harm us and turn it for good. The series of unfortunate events Joseph had to endure were ultimately fuelled by his brothers’ jealousy, but if they had not conspired to get rid of him, he probably would have never gone to Egypt, and of course, the nation of Israel and the Bible would have not existed.In that same light, people may have done things to scar or deplete our sense of self-worth; however, God may very well be using the hurtful events in our lives to shape us into the people He needs us to be. Who knows, maybe our experiences will be able to save others going through a similar situation long after we are gone.&nbsp;Ultimately, the story of Joseph teaches us that it is never too late to be used by God. Perhaps you, or someone you know, is struggling with the negative consequences of reckless decisions made in the past; however, there is no reason to allow past regrets to discourage you.&nbsp;

Joseph: The Blueprint for Perseverance

grayscale photography of a man standing in front of a Jesus graffiti

<figure id="figure-huetztti13m27jajpa" class=""><img id="huetztti13m27jajpa" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1495035385261-7666f7c00735?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyMHx8Z3VpbHR8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI4ODIwODUxfDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="grayscale photo of woman sitting on concrete block" title="grayscale photo of woman sitting on concrete block" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1495035385261-7666f7c00735?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyMHx8Z3VpbHR8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI4ODIwODUxfDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>The Cambridge dictionary describes the word guilt as a “feeling of worry or unhappiness an individual experiences when they have done something wrong.” Indeed, guilt can describe the wave of remorse that rushes over a child after he steals a dollar out of his mother’s purse. It can also define the remorse of a burglar who committed first degree murder in a home-invasion gone wrong. Regardless of the severity of the immoral act, the feeling of anguish that consumes the perpetrator’s soul robs them of a peace of mind and it is almost always accompanied by shame. Still, while guilt and shame are closely linked, the words are not necessarily interchangeable.&nbsp;<h2>Guilt and Shame Explained</h2>While guilt can evoke feelings of shame, it mainly deals with the gut-wrenching humiliation a person feels as a result of a wrong act or foolish mistake. In other words, a person feels guilty when they realize how their actions have negatively impacted another individual.On the contrary, when a person struggles with shame, they are battling strong feelings of mortification and self-pity when they reflect on how their actions impact them and how others perceive them as a result.As you would expect, guilt and shame, and the feelings of inadequacy, frustration and self-contempt that quite often tag along, viciously feed the cycle of addiction. All things being considered, a person whose life is dominated by the involuntary adherence of a destructive habit almost always has to battle a chronic sense of worthlessness and inferiority.After years of caving into compulsive acts and urges they may even convince themselves they are unworthy of love and redemption. Overtime, they grow accustomed to feelings of guilt and shame and allow these emotions to open the door to depression, despair and even impassiveness.<figure id="figure-zqyaca4t79m27jjead"><img id="zqyaca4t79m27jjead" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1600019246742-3b66977db044?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxMXx8YmlibGV8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI4ODIxMjYxfDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="text" title="text" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1600019246742-3b66977db044?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxMXx8YmlibGV8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzI4ODIxMjYxfDA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>Shame and Guilt from a Biblical Perspective</h2>What does the Bible have to say about shame and guilt? After all, these are two emotions that –if not adequately addressed– can rob a person of the hope they need to have faith in Christ.I think the first thing anybody battling with guilt and shame should understand is God already defeated these emotions. You read that right.The anguish of shame and gnawing feeling of guilt have already been conquered. When Jesus was crucified on the cross, He bore all of our rejection, shame and sin. And even though He was raised from the dead three days later, sin, death and the grave remained lifeless. My friends, if all our sins –that is our mistakes, mishaps and wrongdoing– have been wiped away, then we have nothing to be ashamed or guilty about once we confess and ask for forgiveness.<h3>God Forgives</h3>The Bible says when we come to Christ, “old things have passed away and all things have become new” (2 Corinthian 5:17). Truly, the God we serve is not a God of second chances, but the Lord of extensive mercy who is willing to forgive and accept us when we humble ourselves and turn back to him –no matter how many times we mess up.The best part is when we do fall down, He doesn’t keep a record of our mistakes. On the contrary, He disregards our controversial histories and disappointing pasts and gives us a clean slate to start from.When we come to Him, He tells us to forget about the former things simply because He is doing a new thing in our lives that will make the impossible possible –just like He promised to make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert in Isaiah 43:18.<figure id="figure-0tp09f93tfm27jmtix"><img id="0tp09f93tfm27jmtix" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1457139621581-298d1801c832?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyMHx8cHJheWVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTcyODgyMTI5N3ww&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="silhouette of kneeling man" title="silhouette of kneeling man" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1457139621581-298d1801c832?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwyMHx8cHJheWVyfGVufDB8fHx8MTcyODgyMTI5N3ww&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>From Paul to Saul</h2>Let’s take the apostle Paul for example. Before he was the passionate leader of the early church who converted thousands to Christianity, he was a devout Pharisee who vehemently persecuted believers and did everything in his power to silence the message of the Gospel.As a matter of fact, when Paul is first mentioned in the New Testament, he is referred to as Saul. According to the New International Version, he was practically “breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples.”&nbsp;<blockquote> He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem.As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’–Acts 9 :1-4 NIV</blockquote>This voice was none other than Jesus Christ. After He appeared to Saul, Saul became blind for three days. God then sent another believer, Ananias, to pray for him so the scales could fall from his eyes and he could regain his vision.After his sight was restored, God changed his name from Saul to Paul and he immediately got up and began preaching the message of the resurrection.Paul could’ve been ashamed because of his past of persecuting believers. He could have even gotten discouraged after people started to gossip about him and accuse him of being a hypocrite because of his old way of life.But he did not let his past deter him. Instead, he kept praying to God, persisted in studying the Word and was able to share what he learnt to draw many others to Christ.&nbsp;If Paul had wallowed in shame and guilt after God had changed him, he would not have been able to author a significant portion of the New Testament.And if he hadn’t penned those crucial scriptures, millions of lives would have been lost throughout the centuries since the wisdom God communicated through him is responsible for the transformation of countless people around the world today.